I'm actually afraid to review this game. Not because I expect any backlash from FPS and Stealth gaming enthusiasts--trust me, they'll all side with me on this one--but because I'm afraid that the alive and well Dick Marcinko will find out where I live and use his 30-years experience of military service to find out where I live and force me to eat my vital organs without cutting me open. This is the impression I get of the man after playing this game, and considering that the game takes place late in his career and he's capable of killing a lot of people with relative ease, he probably still has some juice left in him to dish out some hard justice toward an innocent and hard-working game reviewer who didn't like his product.

So, yes. Rogue Warrior is not a good game. It's not even average by today's standards. Rogue Warrior delivers content that would have been seen as average about ten years ago as far as gaming is concerned. Considering the fact that the game's original developers, Zombie Studios, couldn't seem to handle the concept of first-person stealth in a way that captured Marcinko's military career with enough realism to make it a worthwhile purchase, Bethesda decided to can them and pass them on to Rebellion Developments. Rebellion, in turn, couldn't seem to handle the concept of first-person stealth in a way that captured Marcinko's military career with enough realism to make it a worthwhile purchase. Sure, they made some sweet videos and the previews looked pretty decent, but the overall product is not worth it.

You play as Dick Marcinko in a mission behind enemy lines in North Korea and the Soviet Union during late 1986. When the Koreans kill your squadmates, it's up to you to infiltrate enemy bases in order to find out what the Koreans and Soviets plan to do with their nuclear weapons (hint: kill people). Marcinko, at this point in his career, is an elite master of weaponry and stealth and utilizes each of his skills to gather intelligence and destroy the missles and dismantle the enemy from the inside.

As far as the first-person stealth elements go, they play well enough for the first level or so while you're still learning the controls and feel of the game. However, they miss completely on elements of stealth-based gameplay that we've grown used to thanks to better games like the Metal Gear and Splinter Cell series. You can move as fast as you want, be as loud as you want, and even get close enough to the enemy's face to where they won't act on you, giving you the chance to stealth-kill easily. At first, the stealth-killing (which brings the perspective to third-person and shows a sweet animation of the kill) is really neat, but after you've performed a few dozen of these and the animations begin to replay themselves, it gets very stale. Most of the enemies will start off with their backs turned to you anyway, so there's not a single time when you can get creative with your movements and strategize. It's just walk up, hit A, you win.

But then come the times when enemies automatically know of your whereabouts, whether you were actually triggered or not. You could stealth-kill an entire section of a map without getting caught, but once you've passed an invisible line that is obviously there to start an event, enemies will come pouring out from one or two doors and come shooting. It turns the game into a sort of Gears of War derivative, since you can take cover and blindfire, or just go all out and take the hits because you automatically regenerate health. You know, like most of the mainstream games these days. Overall, combat is incredibly boring.

When it comes to substance, Rogue Warrior really likes to beat a dead horse. Marcinko will curse nonstop, which in this case is realistic at least in respect to active military personell. But he does it with no style and flair, often times becoming something like Duke Nukem only without the humor and irony. One can only hear "Merry Chirstmas, Mother Fuckers!" so many times before being turned off by it. Marcinko's value as a character comes from his intelligence and force, not from his mouth. But Rebellion Developments didn't seem to understand this when they were making terrible Game Boy Advance ports and sequels to terrible games and went with making him a heartless thug anyway.

In keeping consistent with these design flaws, there are numerous graphical glitches and a lot of details cut out. Not only will characters walk around with their eyes closed, but they will spazz and sieze about when brought down. Walls for cover will end when they want to, even if there is plenty of space left, and add space as well. If you stealth-kill someone in another enemy's line of fire, you'll die immediately after the animation ends. Snow effects in the USSR levels look like eye floaters. There is one good thing about all of these cuts to the quality of the game...load times are very short. Thanks, Rebellion Developments! Your terrible game design had me waiting to play the next lame level in a shorter amount of time!

And the reward for getting through this game? Three hours of single-player content, multiplayer that plays like the single-player game with lame matchmaking, and a small bio of Marcinko. Skip it, rent it if you're incredibly bored, or give it away as a Holiday present to somebody you hate. Maybe if we're lucky, Dick Marcinko will unleash his final justice on the people who made this game.